"Chess is better than sex ." -- Bobby Fischer
A reader, tongue planted firmly in cheek, submitted 22 reasons why Fischer was right. He failed to point out, however, that both pastimes are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
A good game can last seven hours or more and be enjoyed any time without stopping.
As soon as you finish a game, you're ready for another one.
There are billions of mating positions. Always NEW!
You can play chess on the internet and find new partners any time you like.
You can't catch a disease from chess. The worse than can happen to you from sitting for too long is a sore rump.
You don't have to chat up your opponents and send chocolates or roses before they agree to play.
Children can play chess well.
You can perform for a long time and still play chess well in old age.
Ugly players still get to mate.
Ugly opponents don't put you off your game.
Good players can take on hundreds of opponents at once.
You usually know what your next move should be in chess.
You can drink, smoke, and play chess simultaneously.
In chess, the kings and queens can directly mix.
No one ever complains that you're moving too fast.
In chess -- but not in sex -- short games are highly valued.
In chess your opponent has to make a move after your move.
Misplacing your pieces on a chessboard is inconvenient; in the bedroom, it may be illegal.
You don't have to kiss or hug your opponent after a game.
In chess a quickie is often more satisfying than a long game.
You can play chess with your clothes on. And in public too.
Size does not matter. Most players are satisfied with average chess boards.
-- Larry Parr