Reasons to be cheerful......

[Christopher Conkie]

List of top 10 excuses for losing a game of chess:

1. Dog ate score sheet;
2. Dead batteries in hidden transmitter;
3. Went outside for fresh air, forgot about tournament;
4. Disturbed by own reflection in opponent’s sunglasses;
5. Still despondent over 1964 death of Fred Reinfeld;
6. Inexplicably confused ECO A29 line 13 note 87c with ECO A13 line note 87c; lost queen;
7. Unlucky pairing with historical nemesis G. Kasparov;
8. During play, pondered both sides of ICC controversy; lost on time;
9. Studied book *How to Beat Bobby Fischer*; was unprepared for other opponents;
10. After making move, accidentally punched opponent instead of clock.

[Christopher Conkie]

My computer beat me at chess.
Unfortunately my computer is not as good at kickboxing.
I think my computer will have to forfeit the tiebreak round.

[mariaclara]

AFA computer chess is concerned,

I hardly lose to them anymore.

I discovered the return/take back move button.

Be Happy !

hahahaaa

[Christopher Conkie]

AFA computer chess is concerned,

I hardly lose to them anymore.

I discovered the return/take back move button.

Be Happy !

hahahaaa

TOP TEN Moments when you should sense danger in chess:

10. There has been a change in the pawn structure. Your opponent has eight and you don’t have any.
9. Your opponent begins to throw pawns at your eyes.
8. You have a position won, but your opponent has a gun.
7. The Director tells you not to bother turning in your score sheet after the game.
6. Before the game begins you notice your opponent’s first initials are GM.
5. After completing your development you sense your opponent is playing the endgame.
4. Just as you make your opening move your opponent announces mate in 11.
3. You don’t control any squares at all.
2. Your draw offer sends all the people watching your game into uncontrollable laughter.
1. Your opponent has three bishops.



Chris

PS Read that one again.......

5. After completing your development you sense your opponent is playing the endgame.

[beachknight]

AFA computer chess is concerned,

I hardly lose to them anymore.

I discovered the return/take back move button.

Be Happy !

hahahaaa

This is the best strategy I also could find.

[Christopher Conkie]

AFA computer chess is concerned,

I hardly lose to them anymore.

I discovered the return/take back move button.

Be Happy !

hahahaaa

This is the best strategy I also could find.

“I'm looking for Harun, do you know where I might find him?”

“He's in the dark room......”

“What is Harun doing in there?!"

“He's playing blindfold chess of course!”



Chris

[beachknight]

AFA computer chess is concerned,

I hardly lose to them anymore.

I discovered the return/take back move button.

Be Happy !

hahahaaa

This is the best strategy I also could find.

“I'm looking for Harun, do you know where I might find him?”

“He's in the dark room......”

“What is Harun doing in there?!"

“He's playing blindfold chess of course!”



Chris

against four blondies?

Hmmm, not bad, I'd think

[fern]

Very funny, my friend.
Let me add my reasons to lose games to chess engines:



d) I use to drink heavy drink in the opening
e) I continue to do so in the middle game if I get that far
f) in the ending I still drink, but it does not matter, the game ended long ago

Reasons A and B ad C I will keep hidden for now.

[Peter Skinner]

List of top 10 excuses for losing a game of chess:

1. Dog ate score sheet;
2. Dead batteries in hidden transmitter;
3. Went outside for fresh air, forgot about tournament;
4. Disturbed by own reflection in opponent’s sunglasses;
5. Still despondent over 1964 death of Fred Reinfeld;
6. Inexplicably confused ECO A29 line 13 note 87c with ECO A13 line note 87c; lost queen;
7. Unlucky pairing with historical nemesis G. Kasparov;
8. During play, pondered both sides of ICC controversy; lost on time;
9. Studied book *How to Beat Bobby Fischer*; was unprepared for other opponents;
10. After making move, accidentally punched opponent instead of clock.

No No No...

TOP TEN Moments when you should sense danger in chess:

10. Your confusing your Coach's morse code blinking of "DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER" to "SACK YOUR QUEEN! MATE IN 2!"
9. Your Coach flings all the pieces off the table and says "Don't move until you see it", but you can't remember the position.
8. The voice in your head is telling you God wants you to resign.
7. The TD slips you a note stating Topolov's PR team are preparing your excuses.
6. Your opponent's tin foil is blocking out the signal to your PDA.
5. You chose me as your second
4. Half way through the game, Vas calls and says the cluster is down.
3. Your opponent is sponsored by "IMMORTAL223"
2. Every time you go to move a piece your opponents asks if you are sure...
1. You can't wrap your head around the fact you didn't get Rybka 3+ for free.

[Christopher Conkie]

Very funny, my friend.
Let me add my reasons to lose games to chess engines:



d) I use to drink heavy drink in the opening
e) I continue to do so in the middle game if I get that far
f) in the ending I still drink, but it does not matter, the game ended long ago

Reasons A and B ad C I will keep hidden for now.

Best keep off the booze Fern. You won't need an A. B or C then to get to as far as a D unless of course you are one of these......

Three retired International chess grandmasters were playing chess in the park.
The first grandmaster said, "it is windy today."
The second grandmaster said, "no, it is Thursday today".
The third grandmaster said, "me too, let's go back inside for a drink"

I must tell you my friend .......I am not one of them.

I will read your new book soon btw

Chris